Thats right Chloe, your going to be a big sister ( you already knew that) but your going to have a little sister. We are so excited, and im so excited that daddy got to be there when they told us. I would have been happy with a boy, obviously, healthy and happy right? But i am so happy, and as bad as this will sound, im so happy i get a redo. I am so happy i get the chance again to raise a little girl. Its almost like a second lease at life, and i refuse to do anything to put this little girls life in jepordy. I will do everything correctly, she will be spoiled, like you were, she will be loved, as much as you were, and she will know about life, and how unpredictable it can be, and how unfair it can be, she will know about you, she will be sleeping with your photo, and probably your puppy ( if mommy and daddy can give him up). Shes going to know love, and patience, shes going to know health and happyness, shes going to know everything that you never got to know. She will walk, and crawl ( something you never did), she will not be in the hospital longer then for jsut her birth, she will talk, go to prom, have fights with us, and cry with us. She will go on a prom date ( while daddy holds the shot gun), she will get married, and have kids of her own. Shes going to be perfecct just like you were. However, cancer will not take her life i refuse it, i wont let it.
It is official, im qutting my job as of March 1st 2012. Ive learned life is precious, you never know what is going to happen. I will enojy the last few months of my pregnancy because life is unpredictable, i will decorate a nursery, i will go shopping, i will eat healthy foods and i will have a perfect baby, im commited to this. After the baby is born she will not go to daycare, im to whimpy ( remember that terrible call i recieved?) I am so scared of that to happen again, i replay it in my head "Chloe soaked through her sheets during nap, high fever, cranky." BUt she was healthy and happy when i dropped her off? LIfe can change that fast, next thing i know im learning about blood transfusions and cancer, something no one should ever have to learn about.
Kates mom and i are starting a non profit, to raise money for not only cancer awarness but to make lives easier for those families battling through this hell. It is still in the planning stages, but we hope to make a house thats safe for families and children with cancer to go ( no germs ect). We hope to hold holidays there for parents who have kids in the hospital, a big Thanksgiving dinner, a big Holiday Dinner, we hope to provide laptops to students who are in the hospital so they can communicate with friends, and do homework so they themselves can have bright futures full of education, we hope to provide tools for parents, financial assistance so parents who live 400 miles away can stay close to their children who are in the hospital, we will have dinners, walks, runs, races, and much more, its going to be amazing. We will provde meals in the hospital for the nurses and doctors who spend endless hours making our lives better we will provide hope.
Your legacy will live on through our new daughter and our new organazation. To say i miss you is an understatment
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